twitterdick_smallSo I was wasting my life away on Facebook the other day. Innocently enough, I clicked ‘refresh’ like I sometimes do (hey, Facebook ain’t Gmail, after all), and I was greeted by possibly the most unexpected (or expected, depending on what way you slice it) interface ever.

I guess it was only a matter of time – Facebook is now basically Twitter, but with pictures and videos and all those other ’social networking’ features that people need to feel like they are truly and fully expressing themselves. Unfortunately, now those features are all incredibly easy to ignore.

 

My hatred for Twitter aside, that is fine. I am totally cool with letting all of you Twitter people hang out on Twitter. That is why I have Facebook, not Twitter. To me, Twitter just seems like Facebook, minus everything neat. But guess what? Now Facebook is almost entirely status updates. Fuck you, Facebook.

 

Twitter’s slogan, “What are you doing?” can be answered simply with “Who cares?” Honestly.

 

Like a good little journalist, I decided to conduct a few interviews to gauge the public’s reaction to the new Facebook interface. My curiosity was met with the insightful and somewhat cryptic “It’s lame. It’s like… the same, but different. Changed for no reason. Useless.”

 

Thanks to the new Facebook’s emphasis on useless status updates, I eventually realized, you know what, fuck interviews. With all these status updates flowing before me like some huge ass flood, I don’t even need to ask people – they’ve already (perhaps unwittingly) told me:

 

“What is with this? Not liking it at all.”

 

“Hate the new Facebook layout. Dear Mark Zuckerberg: Twitter is stupid, stop trying to be Twitter.”

 

“Ugly layout. Large fonts that make one feel dumb. Stuff everywhere. Our own page looks like shit. I think it is the worst change thus far.”

 

So what is this new emphasis on status updates good for? Making my job a bit easier, for one – and somehow certain people end up looking like self-important failed English majors. Which is always awesome (hey, I need to get my free entertainment somewhere).

 

At any rate, is this a phase? Will the world (Facebook) one day realize that Twitter is super useless and revert back to its regular state? I’m not a Luddite, I swear, I just like technological alterations to suggest progress rather than intellectual recession.

 

One of the attractive qualities of Facebook was its uniqueness, its ability to synthesize a lot of different aspects of internet culture and meld it into one supreme social networking site. Other sites have succeeded due to pimping out a certain niche (for instance, Twitter digs the status updates, Last.fm digs the musics, OkCupid digs the quizzes) – when one tries to morph into another, the results are never good, and the site loses what once made it popular. Is this going to turn into another Myspace-type situation where everyone emigrates from one social networking site to another?

 

I doubt people will – I already have like 3 years of my life documented photographically on Facebook, and I really don’t feel like re-uploading any of that. Facebook will still be able to brag of a huge populace, despite that the majority of the aforementioned user base will be increasingly frustrated with each interface change. If it’s not broken, don’t fix it! Hot damn.