The worst part of the Disney buyout of Marvel isn’t any imaginary effect that the Mouse will have over “the house of ideas.” The worst part will be listening to the marching morons rant: “What if?” about the imagined future of Marvel comics.
Originally, I was going to write about the fan-backlash towards the acquisition. I’ve decide to let YouTube speak for itself. Often it does the talking with a tremendous amount of infantile hatred, expletives and a low-neck visibility.
0:20 – What do you think of a man who mainly receives his news from other YouTube users?
1:16 – Cadence… of voice… so… patronizing…
2:25 – Can you castrate the company which produced: “Elektra” and “Punisher: War Zone?”
3:15 – Actually the company that makes Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck owns DC comics. That brand has never been the same since the Dark Knight was recut to feature Yosemite Sam, instead of Heath Ledger. WELCOME TO THE SPACE JAM.
3:52 – Normally, air-punching would seem weird. But this is how Ocp004 closes all of these fascinating lectures.
Preamble: Can’t even tell if this is performance art or if this guy is aware he emotes like a queen.
BONUS: Left side of the screen…. is that a recurve bow?
1:00 – Why do all of these video bloggers want to remind me what properties Marvel publishes? Would it be important if I didn’t know or cared?
1:23 – Cats will birth snakes, Disney will buy Marvel, and Taco Bell will refuse to serve me without a shirt on! These are the signs of the apocalypse!
1:31 – Why does this guy know what preteens smell like?
2:02 – Obviously the new female, African-American Wolverine is going to gut a bunch of ninjas, and then someone will scream THAT’S SO RAVEN!?
3:07 – DON’T BE SURPRISED when dcigs closes this video by lurking for cartoon pornography. DON’T BE SURPRISED when he concludes that there isn’t enough satisfying bukkake material for the pantheon of Disney characters.
(Just to re-iterate, in a lower-calorie format.)
Has the world gone crazy? Or is Techy900 the last sane man alive?
2:24 – Wait for it… I need a minute to compose the rest of this non-sequitur rant.
4:37 – In an act of intellectual revolt, Techy900’s webcam and microphone stop recording and destroy themselves.
Thank you. Next.
What if there was no god? No Marvel comics?
0:06 – A baby is punched.
0:24 – A good start.
0:40 – Warner Brothers has stolen all of the creative integrity behind Mortal Kombat, creating endless spinoffs and… wait…
0:45 – EYES BULGE – Market greed!
1:00 – I guess the “president” of Marvel Comics sues his company all the time.
0:06 – I would hope you can’t have that much disposable income.
0:40 – Nerds: your king demands that you STAY CALM.
1:36 – GRUNT.
1:40 – The major point of contention is the buyout of power rangers? Wait… you mean the major point of contention amongst those with Aspergers? Or the major point of contention for those who still fear reprisals for wearing the Trek uniform to the first day of school?
I’m fucking undecided on this video.
0:03 – VIDEO = FACEPALM
0:56 – Old corporations shouldn’t exist. Obama knows this. He is creating death panels now, to solve this problem.
1:00 – Actually, Marvel didn’t exist before World War 2 all of its properties were owned by TIMELY comics.
1:43 – GAWD, yous companies always buyin’ shit out. I mean, COME ON. When are Slim Jim’s gonna buy Combos, so I can have a Slim Jim combo? Come on corporate america! Give me something I HUNGER FOR.
1:47 – It’s as if the New Yorker AND The Atlantic were to be merged, where would I get my short non-fiction from? Literature would be doomed!
0:01 – I think I’ve utterly wasted my life, writing about this garbage when I could be drinking heavily under an overpass.
0:20 – All of my Freudian childhood fears have been realized, and father still turns away when I kiss him on the face!
0:41 – I’ll bet you five dollars, that if you can sit through this video without crigning, you also believe Axe deoderant will get you laid.
I realize that this is only the tip of the new media iceberg. Maybe Huxley is right, if new media is doing anything to this culture it’s forcing us to listen to the ranting of idiots, making us watch their memorial video montages and clips from Warcraft set to black metal. Thank god for fascism.